A Matter Of Choice

"You are going to lose a loved one/' the
astrologer said, "and together you will have to
make a difficult choice. The path you decide to
tread on will bring you pain..."
Ravi jumped up and refused to listen anymore.
Much of what the astrologer had told him so far
was true—The size of his family, his father's name,
his mother's, his rivalry with his twin, Girish.
Papa was ill. Now the astrologer had said that
Papa would die. 'How can I bear it? What will we
do?' Tears streamed down Ravi's cheeks.
Life was already hard for them with Papa laid
off work for so many months. The medicines and
the treatment had eaten into their savings.
Although Papa had medical insurance, he couldn't
afford not to get his monthly salary. Ma had
started taking in orders for meals and this had
become a regular tiffin service. She was always
busy and tired and the smoke from the kitchen
seemed to make Papa cough even more.
Ravi delivered the tiffins each afternoon during his lunch break, cycling furiously to get back to
school on time. He had thought it would be better
to give up studies for a year so that he could save
on his school fees and at the same time, by helping
his mother, contribute to the family's income until
his father was well enough to get back to work.
'But Papa is not going to get well. He is going to
die. If I leave school this year, before completing
the tenth, I will never be able to go back. That is
probably what the astrologer meant.'
Ravi could not bear the thought of going home
now. How would he control himself when he saw
his father's thin cheeks and heard that hacking
cough and knew that he was going to die?
He turned towards Deepak's house. It was he
who had advised him to consult the astrologer.
"He read my aunt's fortune so accurately, then my
sister's—right down to the time of her marriage
and the man she would marry. He will tell you
whether or not you will pass. You can decide then,
whether you want to carry on in school..."
Studying was one of Ravi's biggest problems.
While Girish sailed through his exams, Ravi had
to struggle with every subject. And it was not as
though he was good in anything else, in Sports for
example. There too, Girish was ahead of him.
Girish was a House Prefect and one of the brightest
stars of the school. He was a debater. He was in
the school quiz team... What was there that Girish
could not do?
Ravi had lived in his shadow for so long that he
had begun to believe, like Ma and Pa, that Girish
should not be given mundane jobs to do. "Girish is
meant to do great things," everyone said. Girish
had to play for the school cricket team. He had to
practice in theylunch break... What about Ravi?
What was he meant to do? What could he do? He
never got a break from his job. He delivered tiffins,
ran errands and made a bit of money by helping
Ganga halzuai at festival time. When Papa was well
it was okay, but now, with money so tight, did he
have the right to spend a portion on his own fees?
Deepak tried to console him when he heard what
Ravi had to report. But nothing helped. "I wish
I had not gone to the astrologer..." Ravi sighed.
"But you wanted to know your future, whether
you should carry on with school or not."
"All I know now is that my choice will be wrong.
'Painful' to be precise. That is no help, is it?"
"What do you want to do then?" asked Deepak.
"I want to carry on with school and manage
somehow to work as well; spend as much time as
I can with Papa..."
"That's three choices. You cannot have them all."
The words kept ringing in Ravi's ear over the
next few months. Papa's younger sister who was
married to the administrator of a Bombay hospital,
arranged for Papa to be treated at a sanitorium.
She also lent Papa the money for the treatment.
As Ravi waved goodbye to his father, he could not stop his tears from flowing down his cheeks. He knew
he would not see him again. Ma and Girish were also
crying, but they had hope on their faces. They did not
know what Ravi knew. They expected Papa to return
in six months, hale and hearty again.
Ravi hated himself each time he saw Ma wiping
the sweat off her forehead as she handed him the
tiffins. He knew he was earning for her because
she charged her customers extra for delivery, but
he also knew that more than what he earned for
her, his mother was spending on his monthly fees.
He decided to drop out of his tuition classes and
work at Kohli Caterers every evening.
"I will take all the notes and exercises from
Girish," he said to his mother. "The tuitions have
not helped me get to the top of my class all these
years. I will be satisfied, Ma, if I pass."
Ma could not say anything. Ravi was right about
the tuitions. They needed all the money that could
be saved and whatever he earned at Kohli's. But
she was worried that he would not pass. Being left
behind by his clever twin brother would lower his
morale terribly.
While Girish concentrated on his school work
and went for sports practice, barely aware of what
was going on around the home, Ravi dashed in and
out, buying vegetables for his mother in the
mornings, delivering tiffins in the afternoons and
working in the evenings. How could he have the
energy to study at night? He already looked thin compared to the well-built, confident Girish.
When Ravi fell asleep over the Maths test the
tutor had set for the day, Girish finally noticed that
his brother was not concentrating on his studies.
"You will never get through at this rate," he told
Ravi bluntly. "You need to put in a lot more effort."
Ravi only shrugged. What could he tell Girish?
There was only a week left for the exam when
the telegram arrived. Papa had had a relapse!
"This is it!" thought Ravi. "I am coming with you,
Ma," he said, as she packed her clothes and
prepared to leave for the sanitorium. "I am the
older twin and my place is beside Papa now."
"Your place is in the examination hall," replied
Ma. "You will not help Papa recover by missing
your exams."
"But.. .he will not recover..." the last few words
Ravi uttered almost silently. Why did she not
understand that? Short of telling his mother what
the astrologer had said and making her lose hope
as well, he had no argument to convince her to take
him along. So he stayed back.
Instead of discontinuing the tiffin service as Ma
had wanted him to, he carried on with the aid of a
friendly cook from Kohli Caterers. Girish also
pitched in to help. They prepared a simple meal
early in the morning and Ravi and Girish delivered
the tiffins before they went for their exams.
After the first day's new routine was over, Girish
sprawled on the floor. "I am pooped! How have "I did not have much time to study. I may not
pass."
"You have already passed a great test, Ravi. Not
many could have done what you did. Do not worry
about the exams. They can be taken again."
But Ravi need not have worried. When the
results were declared, he was too nervous to even
look for his roll number. It was Girish who slapped
his back and said with shining eyes, "You have got
a First! You have got a First!"
Ravi hugged him and the two of them danced
round the room. Ravi forgot all the overwork and
anxiety of the past two months. He only knew that
his choice had been right. Painful, certainly, but
right for the family and for him.